1. We loaded my bumper into Youth's friend's car and they led the way. YOSH! On to the police station! But as we drove behind them, they suddenly turned off. "Weh di baxide dem a guh?" I said in anger. To which mummy demanded "What did you just say?!" "Nothing." Did you just curse?" "No!" One week later she was telling grandma about it. >< 
2. They turned off to carry us to their bodyman. Oi oi...how long will it take? "Two days". Tch...I can't wait that long. Let's go to the police! It's almost 2pm and I need to get going!
3. I walked through Port Antonio with a bumper in my hand. Argued with Youth's parents. No...we're doing it this way, I have no time for anything else! "But lady, we will pay for it." How much? "$7000" That's ridiculous! 
4. Met with a policeman. His eyes held disinterest and boredom, and he looked like we were the most annoying things in the world. 'You're gonna have to come back to Port Antonio anyway. And it'll take months before this works out.' So Officer, you're telling me to sort it out now. 'I can't advise you on the matter.' Oi oi...didn't you JUST indirectly tell me you don't want to 'bother' doing anything. Baka #3! 
5. Youth's father looking triumphant, when we left Baka #3 to go back up to the bodyman, even after I fairly shouted at him and his wife that 'YOU'RE NOT GETTING IT...I HAVE NO TIME!'
6. Being told by the bodyman that it'd take 30 minutes to straighten the dent and plaster it. Then waiting an hour. >< 
7. Sticking our license plate inside so it's visible through the windscreen, leaving the bumper with the bodyman and then continuing with our journey. Hmm...how long will it take you to finish? "By tomorrow mi done di bumpa, and Thursday wen unu leaving unu just stop and wait a hour while mi spray and stuff."

December 14th and 15th found me witin the luscious Rio Grande Valley conducting research as I normally do. Since I've started doing my research it was the most taxing trip ever. A lot of things seemed to be going wrong at the time. I carried my 5 year old nephew and ended up barking at him a few times and slaping him a few times as well. That wasn't so bad though....what was horrid was when my brand new 12MP Kodak camera slipped off my hand and crashed to the stony ground below. The focus lens no longer retracted and the horror in my heart almost made it stop beating. It didn't help that my peeps kept asking me how I managed to make it happen....'Wasn't the string on your hand?' Well it was...but it still fell and seriously....I just don't know how it happened and I'm not lying when I say it's all fuxxy. They were all concerned of course, especially mom who took one look at me when I came back from the river and wondered what tragedy happened. Well...it was camera tragedy 101. Like a big girl I shed no tears, and in all truthness I had resigned myself to the fact that the camera would fall into the river at some point. Well it was at the riverside. -_-' I've already purchased a new 12MP with a wider aperture and more zoom but the major drawback of this is the lack of an integrated rechargeable battery. *sighs*

The 17th of December was a Saturday and in the morning I had gone shopping with mom and my older sister for wedding outfits. (Ya..both of our friends decided to tie nooses around their neck.) While standing in the store I suddenly heard the words 'Rio Grande Valley' and 'tragedy' which had my ears perking up, but the news was already over. My thoughts were a bit muddled as I wondered what could have happened up in the place I've come to call another home. So I asked one of the sales rep what happened.

"A market truck with about 21 people (and their bags) went over the precipice and plunged into the rocks below....14 people died."

I can't even describe my shock but I really wished I wasn't in the store at that time because I felt like I would've burst out into tears. So I called my main link there - Errol - and with a choked voice he told me that the whole Mill Bank community is mourning. Of the 14 people who died, 8 of them were from Mill Bank where I do all my research. It was so sad to hear and my heart instantly activated 'grieve mode'. Especially with the news of the 10 year old and his mom. *sighs* Worst accident in over 30 years and the media ate it up like an 'all you can eat' buffet. All of a sudden the unknown Mill Bank was thrust into the media spotlight and the politicians came out in all their hypocritical glory. The roads that the communities up there have been complaining about were now being higlighted and promises were made to fix them. Sure....over 40 years the roads have sucked and it takes a tragedy to remind these hypocrites that they need fixing. I can't even begin to describe the river bedrock that poses as a road up there...it'll take a whole page. Not even the roads man...but some embankments would be good so people wouldn't have to look down upon their potential deaths while driving on these narrow horrid roads.

Funeral #1 buried 2 people, funeral #2 buried 4 people, funeral #3 buried 1 person and the final funeral....#4 buried 7 people. I decided to go to number 4 since those 7 were from Mill Bank and I wanted very much to show my support. So I went down from last Saturday night....for the wake/nine night where we'd remember the dead while drinking and eating some food. So I went down Saturday night and suffered from another shock (how much can my heart take). My beautiful quiet peaceful community was filled with a bunch of strangers, larg sound systems and people selling in the bloody streets! Selling liquor, food and God knows what. It looked like a marketplace.

Like an idiot, I left my waterboots and umbrella and the rain was pelting like a mini-hurricane. My friend who carried me had also left these integral items and so we were both scolding ourselves. They had bushed the sides of the road and so the water washed mud unto the road, so the so-called road was just a big mud trail. I had to throw on a t-shirt over my blouse and create a t-shirt umbrella....Beavis style. THe best part of the night was sitting up at Ms. L's place drinking authentic chocolate and eating saltfish fritters. Then this ultra-cute Pastor tried organizing the wake and I was taking shelter under the make-shift porch of a Babtist church with about 3 dozen people. The deciding factor of me leaving the shelter was the big fat drunk who walked around saying that he's got to get some pussy tonight. Not the cat.

So I left. Just told my friend K that I'm going and she miserably nodded; she wanted to at least hear one song, but I was sleepy, miserable and the band was taking too long. As soon as I left the rain came down in torrents and as everyone else rushed for shelter I walked alone on the dark road with my t-shirt over your head and my phone stuck into the waist of my skirt. It was dark and I had no flashlight to see the mud-filled potholes before me so by the time I got back to the guesthouse, I was thoroughly soaked and even more miserable. I went into the shower for a quick clean up of my mud splattered legs, said my prayers and jumped into bed. Japanesepod101.com was lulling me to sleep as the voices in my ear competed with the very loud sound system on the road. All that was going through my mind was one thing - "Where is my Mill Bank?"  After about 15 minutes I heard K beating down the door and I opened it to let her in. She got to hear a few songs and so she was able to happily leave. The singing was nice she said but only a small part of me was regretful. (Oh by the way...singing and stuff is done at a wake and really...it's all about the singing. Cause Jamaicans like to sing.....hm....I think black people on a whole like to sing more than any other race on the planet).

Long post....but bear with me please (yes...you 3 or 4 people who read). The night was terrible but I slept well and woke up to face the nightmare fiasco. 

It constantly rained during the night  and when I woke up it was raining. Now let me pause to tell you how the place was set up for the mass funeral. The community centre is in the centre of a large playing field and the newly refurbished centre was to be the location of the funeral. Two large tents were set up outside the centre and this set up was done on Saturday after the rain had been saturating the land for the past two days. So tent set up on wet soil and more rain after tent set up = soggy pig-pen like mud beneath the tent. Yup....mud, mud and more mud. K was smarter cause she wore sneakers. I wore slippers and so I had mud up to my ankles. All around people were muddy; some had opted to go barefoot and others sported the mud-designed shoes. I looked in envy at those who had obtained waterboots and even at the profiler who wore snow shoes (whyyyyyyy....we're in Ja!) which were ridiculous but certainly worked. The service was going to take place within the community centre which could hold less than 1/4 of the people there and because of issues with us being unable to contact the Pastor, we had to leave the projector. So......there was no projector to show the service to the mass of muddy people in the two tents. Ha...ahhh bwoy, suh unu cyan imagine. Nuhbaddy nah guh cyan see wah a gwaan....wah di point den. K just look pon mi and a mussi di misery in a mi yeye shi si but wi jus decide fi cut. Couldn badda wid di stress.

Den come di next peice a stress.

We hopped into the van and drove off. (Oh yeah....we had stayed in our jeans and ditched our 'nice' clothes.) Almost drove over the dumb people who would not get the hell out of the way then we bucked upon some policemen. Here comes he next drama. Apparently there was a line of vehicles coming down and they were 'important people' aka politicians. We had to back up all the way down the road and wait for them to come down. Where are they gonna put them? The road was full of cars on either side and there really was nowhere for them to go, but these stupid policemen keep allowing more and more people down. At one point we were so pissed that K just wound up the window and put on the music while directly disobeying police orders. *sighs*

We could finally go forward again, and after traveling a couple chains we get stopped...again. Now we know this road better than these town policemen and we knew that there were places we could pull over if we met a car coming in the opposite direction. But no one would listen to us. We stopped, rather K stopped, came out and proceeded to argue with the policeman who shouted and told her she was too argumentative etc etc etc and she should move the van etc etc etc etc. She said she ain't moving it and if they wanna do it.....go right ahead. Some dude came in and moved it unto a mound so the big-ass SUVs that the politicians drive could go past. Then we sat there. Just sat there. about half an hour we were there waiting for the almighty Bruce Golding aka Prime Minister to pass. Nevermind that we could've left the fiasco long ago...but no, gotta wait for Uncle Brucey.

The long and short of it is that we took 2 hours to just leave the community because the police are idiots and politicians suck. K said it might be a sign that she should go back home to Trinidad and I thought of accepting my cousin's offer to go live in Canada. I'm so sorry that those seven people didn't get a proper send off and there's so much more nastiness that surrounded the event that I can't bother to get into. This long entry is already a turn off and I won't be re-reading it for grammatical errors.

I'll be in Mill Bank tomorrow for my monthly sampling and I'm just glad that the profiteerers and strangers have vacated the premises. They were like a stinking blot on the canvas of a good community.
 

Since people normally laugh when they talk to me.....

....

I hope they're not laughing at me. Anyhoo...I've gotten the impression that I'm funny so I went and designed a comic. Just a one-shot. Thing about it is that my family and friends never really laughed, but a room of scientists did. It was at the end of a presentation I did for my MPhil research. Before I present the pic, just to let you know that pregnant shrimps carry thousands of eggs under their abdomen. Xiphocaris elongata has a transparent body so one can look right through and see the eggs that the female carries.

...


...
 

Hello there.

Persons avoid getting hit by lightning and stay indoors during a lightning storm, but I'm different. I want to get hit and I'm determined to feel that bolt of lightning. Yeah...I want to touch him and if he'd allow me, I'd love to touch his leg and then ask him for a hug.

Yeah....I'm talking about Usain Bolt, the fastest man in the world as shown by his outstanding achievement in Beijing at the 2008 Olympics. Running the 100m in 9.69 seconds after he had slowed up before the line to show just how awesome he is and carving his name into history has made me fall half in love with him. Now, being apart of the company -DIgicel - his main sponsor, I figured that I'd get to meet my new hero soon. So I waited for the email that would say...'Bolt will be visiting.'

The email came and its words were simple: "Wear your Olympic shirts tomorrow because lightning doesn't strike the same place twice." Oh my goodness....I felt on top of the  world. Finally FINALLY I'd get to meet him. So...I went to work in my gold shirt, collected my poster and started working. I started feeling a slight sense of foreboding when I realized that my station for the day was at the back of the call centre. Would he see me, I thought to myself or will I be left in the dust? I got even more despondent when my sister on the 3rd floor told me that they basically wisked him in and out and only her smile got into a picture with him. Her poster wasn't autographed and he hadn't seen her either. Damn.....I've got a bad feeling about this. However, I remained optimistic and waited.

Suddenly I heard noises and stood suddenly. There he was...standing tall and handsome very very very far away from me. I thought to myself that they must, they just have to carry him to the back. It's a big centre. I watched them escorting him to the door. What the hell?! It's not even been five minutes! I stood and waved my poster, immobilized by my inability to log out of the system. A call came in at that moment and automatically my lips started the greeting...."Thanks for making it Digicel etc etc etc', but I still stood holding up my poster and hoping against hope that he would turn from the door. Some agents nearby called out to him asking him to autograph their posters cause it was impossible to move. I watched as he fought against the 'authorities' that ushered him forward. He turned back and signed posters that were close to him...but alas, I was still too far away. I met his eyes and I think he sensed my desperation but he could only say 'They're taking me away.'

They did take him away and I left work with an unsigned poster and a sadness in my heart. What hurt was that they had him on the 7th floor (my floor is the 6th) for a long time. That's the floor where the 'heads' are so I guess we're not as important.

Fast forward to earlier today. It seems I'm catching a cold and I was miserably grading the lab papers of 1st year univeristy students. My phone pinged with an SMS from my big sister. The contents of the message were bittersweet and I was infused with jealousy, happiness and sadness. I called her for her to explain herself and she did...much to my chagrin. If you don't mind Diary...I think her words will be more suitable for a narration.
 

~o~

I had just  left class after we begged the teacher to let us out early so we can study for an upcoming exam. I exited the Pegasus hotel and was about to go to the car when I looked and saw....him. He was just standing there like free cheesecake (I lie not....that's what she actually said). All by himself...no cameras, no bag of  people...just all by himself - Usain Bolt.

I was shocked and frozen to the spot...not sure of what to say. I ran to him and...........(she was squealing and talking gibberish so I have no idea what she said.........)
 

~o~
 

It's too painful to narrate in her voice. Anyway, all the other athletes came down - Asafa Powell, Shelly-Ann Fraser, Melaine Walker, Michael Frater, Nesta Carter....etc etc etc etc. Everyone was there and they took a lot of pictures. Yeah... a lot of pics as the athletes waited on their ride to go to the Grand Gala. *sighs* 

I'm still chasing after him...but no luck yet.
 

Yosh! I kick off sampling next week.

Sample what you may ask. Well...I'm doing my MPhil (Masters in Philisophy) in Zoology: Freshwater Ecology and I'll be focusing on freshwater shrimps. Only two families occur in Jamaica - Palaemonidae and Atyidae, the former having only one genus - Macrobrachium while seven genus occur under the Atyidae family. For the record, my favourite freshwater shrimp of all time is Xiphocaris elongata, because it ranks number 1 in the adorable category...according to me of course. The beautiful transparent body is what I like and they really are very cute. See below:
 

One week ago we had tropical storm Fay, which wasn't too bad really although it was bad nonetheless. I had never seen so much lightning before and I was kept awake by my dog Duke who was spooked by the constant bursts of blue light. Fay was gone as soon as she came, and took with her the life of a middle-aged female whose car was washed away by the heavy waters. It put a damper on our Olympic celebrations (If you don't know of Usain Bolt, you should be ashamed).

Anyway...we got on with our lives and then heard of Gustav - the incredibly unstable system. Now Gustav is just plain weird. On Wednesday it was heading up towards Cuba at a slow pace and so expecting to feel the outer bands' effects, the island was placed under a hurricane watch. We started making our preparations, which mostly involved ensuring that we have batteries and me making my way to the trailer yard for a gallon of kerosene oil. Then as I was leaving work Wednesday at midnight I heard that Gustav had dipped towards us. oopsie~ I started preparing my mind for the worst.

Fast forward to Thursday morning; I woke up to dark skies and not a hint of rain. The local news reported that Gustav was downgraded to a tropical storm and would be passing right over us, while the int'l news spoke of the woe our island must have been feeling at the moment. I ooked outside at the light wind, looked at my sister and her face echoed my question - 'what woe?' We lost power, then we got back power, then we lost power, we got back power.....and so it continued  until the water decided to join the game but due to it's inablity to understand simple rules, the dumb water stayed off (and still is). With no light (aka no anime, manga or PS) I slept like a big lazy lump. Woke up in the evening and watched the news (yeah..the light was on again); all over the island people were reporting that there was some rain but not much. The weather channel lady was again speaking of mudslides, flood and lots of rain. I got up from the couch and went outside to survey the calamity she spoke of. -_-' Hmmm.....dark skies - check; wind - nope; rain - not at all. It was at that moment I reached the conclusion that Gustav was a big FAIL. Tch...just a wanna be hurricane who would be kicked out of the Storms Club (assuming there was one). 

Those words were stuffed down my throat when the trees outside started dancing the macarena at about 7pm. At this time we were again plunged in darkness and apparently this dark was going to stay for a while. I decided to sleep in the couch again because my sister was on one side of my bed and a mountain of clothes that I was too lazy to sort out was on the other. Apparently I had offended Gustav with my words and he showed me just how big of a success he could be. From 7pm Thurday nigt to about 8am Friday morning, I could not sleep for more than 1.5 hours at a time. The wind, the rain....every sound would startle me awake and have me jumping up to look out the window. As the battering of our island continued through the night I grew increasingly worried about persons living in the more vulnerable areas and in my mind I cursed the weather channel lady who probably jinxed us.

Friday morning it calmed down, but up until the evening we experienced bursts of sudden showers, lightning and thunder as the system moved away from the island. It left us with a mess. Some communities were completely submerged and many persons had lost everything...only the clothes on their back survived the ordeal. JDF (Jamaica Defense Force) was called in to rescue persons stuck on rooftops and for those unfortunate souls living on the gullyside, their homes were washed away. *sighs* It was pretty bad all around and so far Gustav has taken 11 lives. My heart goes out to WaaWaa who was 50 years old and decided to climb the breadfruit tree to gather food for the storm. He fell and instantly met his end. :( Made me think of my grandpa who likes to climb the breadfruit trees too.

I lost nothing except electricity and water, however my heart aches for the many people who were affected and I am very upset at the disgusting miscreants who found the time to murder two people in the midst of the storm.

Hurricane Gustav, hats off to you on proving me wrong, but I really would've liked it if you didn't feel the need to do so. Please Gustav....as a category 3 hurricane who's gaining strength, try not to devastate anywhere else. I pray to God that everyone will be safe as you make your way across the western seas.